Archive for April, 2012

Why have a platonic relationship?

Have you ever thought to yourself that you would love to have sex but not with the annoying inconvenience of being in a relationship? If you need to learn how to do this (because for whatever reason you think this knowledge is obscure and does not come naturally) you can surely find plentiful resources on the topic if not in your local library, at least out there on the Internet.

This article is for those who wish to do the opposite, those who love the emotional connection of a relationship, the adventures, the ups and downs, and the ultimate joy of sharing your life with someone, but don’t want the annoying inconvenience of having to put out.

Advantages to having a platonic relationship include not having to worry about STIs, not basing a connection only on physical pleasure, and for the truly devout non-sexuals, the lack of having to do something you are not particularly interested in doing in the first place.

Structurally, it’s not too much different than an intense friendship except that the platonic part implies that this is a person you would otherwise be expected to indulge in carnal pleasure with, and the relationship part implies exclusivity, the idea that the connection you share with this person is not merely a connection shared among friends, but a thorough combination of psyches built upon the same kind of trust you would expect from a sexual partner.

So, all you non-sexual predators, here’s a step-by-step guide to getting things going with your platonic crush:

1)      Begin as friends within a group of likeminded individuals who share your same philosophical boundaries. By observing how well this person interacts with others and giving this potential partner a chance to do the same, you can understand exactly how sincere your targeted platonic crush is about forming a nonsexual relationship.

2)      As trust develops, plan outings to determine what your platonic crush uses to substitute sex. Perhaps it’s a myth that a platonic relationship requires a substitute for sex, but it’s at least profitable to know what your potential partner is really looking for, as for many this is uncharted territory. Some of the most desirable sex substitutes in my opinion include cultural activities, travel, enlightened discussion, dance, playing music and reading together. By the way, if you aren’t convinced yet that a platonic relationship is an excellent life choice, consider how these activities can be heightened by the participation of a partner you know and trust.

3)      Share private space. This is the true test of a platonic relationship. Not that you need proof for yourself (obviously you’ve already chosen to be platonic), but sometimes a timid sexual hopeful will hang on no matter how many friend groups you spend time around or adventures you have. Such a person is simply biding his/her time until a private moment can lead to an unwanted mistake. Set it up. Make it romantic if you really want to know your platonic crush’s intentions. You’re building trust at this point; you haven’t actually achieved it. Besides, a romantic scene is as pleasurable to the nonsexual as it is to the sexual, perhaps more so because the low lighting, home-cooked meal, pleasant smells and intelligent conversation are there to be enjoyed for what they are, not just as a pathway to a moment of orgasm.

4)      Continue to test trust and look for red flags. I’ve heard it said that true love has no tests. I consider that to be vain fantasy. There might come a time that your partner is no longer interested in being platonic, in which case you must either put out or be cuckolded. If your partner is flirty with others, you should not feel ashamed to say “this is not what I wanted” and despite the possible protests your partner may have, end it and move on.

5)      Communicate. Often people act in ways contrary to what they say; this is no mystery. That should not dissuade you, however, from continuing a crucial dialogue on your feelings towards each other. Even if your thoughts, actions and words are contrary to each other, at least plotting out a manifesto of intention can save your ass if your partner claims they didn’t know what you were thinking or what you expected. Of course thoughts change over time, but the mutability of intention makes communication yet more vital, for your partner has a right to know when you have altered your view of the relationship. Define what you mean by platonic. Does it mean no physical contact at all? Does it include cuddling, holding hands, kissing, or sometimes being naked around each other? Is there a financial division or commitment implied? Will you cohabitate? Are you in an “open” platonic relationship? Will you feel threatened by other potential platonic relationships? What do you consider to be the difference between a friendship and a platonic relationship? Discussing these things will save tears, awkward situations and emotional rollercoasters.

A platonic relationship ought not to be viewed as less than a sexual relationship. In fact, platonic partners are more likely to view the absence of sex as being the absence of an insincere gesture, either in the beginning wherein one is focused simply on achieving orgasm and doesn’t really care about the quality of the partner in all of her/his diversity of personality, or later on when the mechanical ritual of sexual gratification, having been the basis of the relationship, becomes the only way of expressing love, whereby if the sex is not particularly enjoyable, then the love is judged the same way. Furthermore, a radical examination of all insincere gestures may ensue. Platonic couples may find that even kissing begins passionate and slowly degrades into a mechanical gesture to signify love.

Perhaps other love signifiers you have employed, the aforementioned sex substitutes such as travel and adventure, will lose their appeal as most overindulged activities eventually do. The glory of having a wide range of love signifiers is that as you gradually become bored of them, as you would in your own solitary life, you get to see how you both grow together, dropping some interests and picking up new ones. With a sexual relationship, you don’t have this level of freedom. Once the sex is gone, there’s really nothing to replace it with other than non-gratifying sex.

My personal opinion is that a platonic relationship ought not to be partaken of for religious reasons. The religious motivation to save sex for marriage still highlights the eventual goal of sex. Marriage is, on earth (unlike in heaven), a legally binding agreement to remain exclusively coupled with a partner until either death or divorce, and ought to be treated rationally: your wife or husband is your business partner for life, so you ought to want to keep the business running for a while. The chimera of sex and business does not a happy couple make. Happiness results from a shared vision, a manifesto of intent agreed upon by both parties.

Follow this process and you may just have a fulfilling platonic relationship. Or you may just decide you want the sex, in which case, I’m surprised you’ve read this far.

Happy hunting!

 

 

 

 

We are psychic beings. It’s the gospel truth. Every single one of us.

Though some claim they have psychic powers, they are both lying and telling the truth and you will discover this through enough disinterested evaluation.

Disbelieve the lie that our consciousnesses are confined to our personal bodies. This is an egocentric belief. When you finally figure out that there is but one consciousness, you also see the ways that our own signatures of consciousness do not have citizenship only between the borders of our walls of flesh.

A friend of mine was aware that I was reading her thoughts and she called me on it. I told her she was as capable of reading my thoughts or the thoughts of anyone else. She didn’t need any magical talisman or years of study in a Himalayan temple. She could do it right away. The fact that she felt she couldn’t was a choice, not an inability.

When I hit her with that truth, that we are all psychic beings, she tempted my ego: “Well, surely you are more psychic than others.”

No, not in the least. If you get caught up in the idea that you need faith or have to believe in something to be psychic, you have arrived at the opposite of the truth. If you have not discovered your psychic powers, it is in fact evidence of a great amount of faith. You have since you were young believed the lie that we are not psychic beings, and that people who do possess psychic powers must be special. It is more the case that in early times, people who could not read minds were the special ones. They were the ones who could do terrible things without regret. They were the ones who could kill other people without feeling their pain. They were the ones who could enslave others and create inequity for their own self-interest and material wealth. It is the non-psychics who are powerful, unethical and dangerous.

For those of us who have disbelieved the fiction of the walls between us, who have struggled with inequity and striven to fight against it, the time has come that we educate all people on how to do the same. It benefits us in no way to think we are special or consider these powers to be strange or exotic.

Here’s the problem. The materially powerful ones, the stewards of inequity, the non-psychics, they have a vendetta against us. They think we are evil, that we are informed by the devil, and certainly once this gets out, once we begin to unplug humanity from its self-hating delusion of inequity, they will strike against us with wicked words and powerful guns.

It’s through love that we do what we do. Love for humanity, sure, but the real love is bigger than you ever imagined. The real love is an air, an ether in which we are all suspended. In it, there is a perfect thing to do. There is a perfect way of moving and a perfect series of events. There is a perfect word to speak and a perfect result for every perfect action. When you can see this as well as we do, you will be ready.

Still yet I do not always do the perfect thing. Sometimes I act against the perfect thing. It’s a little dangerous when you begin to break down the walls in a time of love for the human spirit, and then in a time of hatred, enabled with these new abilities, poison the psyches of others and drive them mad.

White light. Focus on the love. Breathe.