Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

Lace and I went out to see the falling cherry blossom petals this morning. ❤

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It all started because I woke up too early. I didn’t know what to do. I took my shower, did stretches, made my coffee, and sat in my clam shell sipping and looking out the window. Lace was there on the balcony. I looked at her wheel and the triangle of her frame and thought about reading for a bit. Then I thought, why not take Lace out around the lake?

When we started the sky turned my favorite shade of grey, dark and foreboding. Then lightning split the sky and from the rift successive blankets of hard-hitting rain baptized us. With the rain, the final cherry blossom petals departed from their homes and flew on twirling wisps of wind around us. The bite of cold is gone from the air, and the only sensation in my skin was the soak of raindrops.

Coming back against the wind, my mouth filled with droplets, water coming down harder than before. Every part of me was drenched. Lace’s brakes whined a little in the final stretch. Sorry, sweetie, we’ll be home soon.

Back at home, we dried off with a warm, fluffy towel and I sipped a bit more before going to work. Coming down from that has left me passive and ready to rest. But my day has just begun…

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Surely, men made of plastic can’t be hurt. from http://i01.i.aliimg.com

She must have been walking for hours when she passed Davies and saw that the Hastings Inc warehouse was clearing out. Among the discards was a brilliant model, a mannequin. The blinding white man stared lifelessly out through Greek god eyes. She waited silently behind sunglasses, hiding behind a pillar until the workers left. Quitting time came and she snuck past the wire fence. She snatched the body and quickly hailed a cab. There she sat beside the six-foot android, not paying attention to the taxi driver’s askance glances. I’m an artist, she said with her eyes before ascending the hill to her apartment building, the plastic man tucked securely under her arm.

He could not freely stand, so she leaned him upright in the corner. She started to think of what kind of art project she could do with him. Over the next few weeks, his forward-staring plastic body inspired all sorts of thoughts. She poured these thoughts into her writing, photography and dance. Angel wings, she thought. Black angel wings and tattoos. Tribal. Yessss…

One day she saw that he was starting to fall over. She rushed over and blocked him from falling. His body twisted into her grasp, and she realized how wrong it seemed that she was pressing his white body against the wall, her lips so close to pushing against his. She jerked back suddenly and let him fall back into the wall. No. Dear god no.

That’s when she saw it. There before her eyes was a tiny chip between his lips. She picked at it. The paint came off easily enough. She revealed his real color. He was actually a beautiful dark olive color under layers of white paint. She ran to her kitchen and grabbed a knife. Bit by bit she picked away until she had uncovered his entire face. She chipped paint all the way down his neck, over his chest and torso, past his hips and down his legs. He was mostly flesh now, except for a stripe of white on each inner thigh.

She had worked so hard to get the paint off, but these two strips just weren’t coming clean. She picked and pulled. They were fused into his flesh. She got worked up. It was the kind of frenzy that had pushed everyone out of her life and left her alone with her art all these years. Her obsessive fury did not stop until she had dug her knife deep into the flesh of his thigh. Breathing heavily now, she collapsed on the floor. What have I done?

This was a mistake. She never should have gotten involved. Now she had invested herself into something that would never reach its completion. Furthermore, she had dug deeply into the plastic man a scar that could never heal. She considered just leaving him on the street and abandoning this foolish pursuit. She decided instead to dissolve her stresses in an aimless walk.

She descended her stairs and walked out into the cool air. Soon, she happened upon a stationery store. She walked in, unsure of why. She looked at oil pastels, which she could afford with her last four dollars. Then she saw something else: a nice little kit of whittling tools. She bought the kit and ran her purchase back up to her apartment.

There was the Greek god, staring blankly into the wall. She dropped to her knees and scraped away the paint stripes from his thighs. She looked at the deep scar. She knew that there was nothing she could do. The scar would always be there. She decided then that he would be there to remind her of the consequences of acting with haste. She clothed him in vermilion and midnight blue. She painted on his tattoos and never tried to fix his scar. She gave him dark wings, and when the work was complete, she smiled, and a tear crept down her face. She turned out her dim light.

Goodnight, sweet god.

Why have a platonic relationship?

Have you ever thought to yourself that you would love to have sex but not with the annoying inconvenience of being in a relationship? If you need to learn how to do this (because for whatever reason you think this knowledge is obscure and does not come naturally) you can surely find plentiful resources on the topic if not in your local library, at least out there on the Internet.

This article is for those who wish to do the opposite, those who love the emotional connection of a relationship, the adventures, the ups and downs, and the ultimate joy of sharing your life with someone, but don’t want the annoying inconvenience of having to put out.

Advantages to having a platonic relationship include not having to worry about STIs, not basing a connection only on physical pleasure, and for the truly devout non-sexuals, the lack of having to do something you are not particularly interested in doing in the first place.

Structurally, it’s not too much different than an intense friendship except that the platonic part implies that this is a person you would otherwise be expected to indulge in carnal pleasure with, and the relationship part implies exclusivity, the idea that the connection you share with this person is not merely a connection shared among friends, but a thorough combination of psyches built upon the same kind of trust you would expect from a sexual partner.

So, all you non-sexual predators, here’s a step-by-step guide to getting things going with your platonic crush:

1)      Begin as friends within a group of likeminded individuals who share your same philosophical boundaries. By observing how well this person interacts with others and giving this potential partner a chance to do the same, you can understand exactly how sincere your targeted platonic crush is about forming a nonsexual relationship.

2)      As trust develops, plan outings to determine what your platonic crush uses to substitute sex. Perhaps it’s a myth that a platonic relationship requires a substitute for sex, but it’s at least profitable to know what your potential partner is really looking for, as for many this is uncharted territory. Some of the most desirable sex substitutes in my opinion include cultural activities, travel, enlightened discussion, dance, playing music and reading together. By the way, if you aren’t convinced yet that a platonic relationship is an excellent life choice, consider how these activities can be heightened by the participation of a partner you know and trust.

3)      Share private space. This is the true test of a platonic relationship. Not that you need proof for yourself (obviously you’ve already chosen to be platonic), but sometimes a timid sexual hopeful will hang on no matter how many friend groups you spend time around or adventures you have. Such a person is simply biding his/her time until a private moment can lead to an unwanted mistake. Set it up. Make it romantic if you really want to know your platonic crush’s intentions. You’re building trust at this point; you haven’t actually achieved it. Besides, a romantic scene is as pleasurable to the nonsexual as it is to the sexual, perhaps more so because the low lighting, home-cooked meal, pleasant smells and intelligent conversation are there to be enjoyed for what they are, not just as a pathway to a moment of orgasm.

4)      Continue to test trust and look for red flags. I’ve heard it said that true love has no tests. I consider that to be vain fantasy. There might come a time that your partner is no longer interested in being platonic, in which case you must either put out or be cuckolded. If your partner is flirty with others, you should not feel ashamed to say “this is not what I wanted” and despite the possible protests your partner may have, end it and move on.

5)      Communicate. Often people act in ways contrary to what they say; this is no mystery. That should not dissuade you, however, from continuing a crucial dialogue on your feelings towards each other. Even if your thoughts, actions and words are contrary to each other, at least plotting out a manifesto of intention can save your ass if your partner claims they didn’t know what you were thinking or what you expected. Of course thoughts change over time, but the mutability of intention makes communication yet more vital, for your partner has a right to know when you have altered your view of the relationship. Define what you mean by platonic. Does it mean no physical contact at all? Does it include cuddling, holding hands, kissing, or sometimes being naked around each other? Is there a financial division or commitment implied? Will you cohabitate? Are you in an “open” platonic relationship? Will you feel threatened by other potential platonic relationships? What do you consider to be the difference between a friendship and a platonic relationship? Discussing these things will save tears, awkward situations and emotional rollercoasters.

A platonic relationship ought not to be viewed as less than a sexual relationship. In fact, platonic partners are more likely to view the absence of sex as being the absence of an insincere gesture, either in the beginning wherein one is focused simply on achieving orgasm and doesn’t really care about the quality of the partner in all of her/his diversity of personality, or later on when the mechanical ritual of sexual gratification, having been the basis of the relationship, becomes the only way of expressing love, whereby if the sex is not particularly enjoyable, then the love is judged the same way. Furthermore, a radical examination of all insincere gestures may ensue. Platonic couples may find that even kissing begins passionate and slowly degrades into a mechanical gesture to signify love.

Perhaps other love signifiers you have employed, the aforementioned sex substitutes such as travel and adventure, will lose their appeal as most overindulged activities eventually do. The glory of having a wide range of love signifiers is that as you gradually become bored of them, as you would in your own solitary life, you get to see how you both grow together, dropping some interests and picking up new ones. With a sexual relationship, you don’t have this level of freedom. Once the sex is gone, there’s really nothing to replace it with other than non-gratifying sex.

My personal opinion is that a platonic relationship ought not to be partaken of for religious reasons. The religious motivation to save sex for marriage still highlights the eventual goal of sex. Marriage is, on earth (unlike in heaven), a legally binding agreement to remain exclusively coupled with a partner until either death or divorce, and ought to be treated rationally: your wife or husband is your business partner for life, so you ought to want to keep the business running for a while. The chimera of sex and business does not a happy couple make. Happiness results from a shared vision, a manifesto of intent agreed upon by both parties.

Follow this process and you may just have a fulfilling platonic relationship. Or you may just decide you want the sex, in which case, I’m surprised you’ve read this far.

Happy hunting!